


words i didn't mean

by whaleonthemoon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21957835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whaleonthemoon/pseuds/whaleonthemoon
Summary: What would Jihoon do without Seokmin?or Jihoon gets grumpy after work and says things he didn't mean.
Relationships: Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69
Collections: YMMH FIC FEST





	words i didn't mean

**Author's Note:**

> This was a struggle, I wish I could churn out words at a faster pace but I can't do it without always second-guessing my abilities.
> 
> Still had fun though!
> 
> Special thanks to my 2 encouragers.
> 
> You know who you are. Thank you, for pushing me to do this.

Jihoon’s slam of the door when he steps foot into the house falls on deaf ears, house seemingly empty. He kicks off his shoes and trudges to the kitchen, his mind reeling with angry thoughts. Jihoon pulled open the refrigerator door, the force of it shaking the items inside, he chugged a bottle of water in record time and wiped his mouth aggressively with the sleeve of his sweater. 

It was not a good day at the studio, far from it even. With the number of flaws he found on the current song he was working on and deadlines looming over his head like a lone storm cloud, no wonder there was a scowl on his face. He had a full album to work on and the intense pressure coming from everyone around him was taking a toll. Producer Yoon had berated him for how slow he was working, pointing out mistakes left and right. Every submission had an error and Jihoon was getting frustrated.

Being forced to go home wasn’t sitting well with him either, he had been in the studio for days trying to finish up his work. But Bumzu, his colleague, had forced him to go home and locked him out of the studio along with his bag. If he wasn’t due to submit his work soon, he wouldn’t have been so angry. 

Jihoon didn’t resent Bumzu, he knew that the intentions were good, but he couldn’t help but feel bothered by it. When he got home, he couldn’t think straight, thinking of how many more mistakes he had to fix before succumbing to his fate of having to go to bed knowing how unfinished his work was. 

“Oh, you’re home,” Jihoon jumped in his spot and spun around to find Seokmin by the doorway to their room, a blinding smile filling up half his face. “I would’ve thought the studio swallowed you whole.”

Usually, he would walk up to Seokmin to get a hug, but that line, for whatever reason, made Jihoon stay in his spot, and his mood turned fouler. 

Seokmin walks toward Jihoon, arms open to wrap his arms around him, but he moves away, an agitated frown on his face. “Don’t touch me,” Jihoon sneers, moving to stand on the other side of the kitchen. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?,” Seokmin’s smile replaced with a worried frown, his arms now limp by his sides.

Jihoon pursed his lips and exhaled shakily, “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t have understood. You’re not working anyway.” Grabbing his bag that he threw on the ground earlier, he rounded the kitchen island, and avoided Seokmin altogether, heading to the shared bedroom.

-

Jihoon and Seokmin had been boyfriends since college and had decided to move in together to a small apartment downtown from there. They were comfortable enough to fall into a routine, being boyfriends was one thing, but living together was another. Jihoon was the introverted type, always opting to stay in. And Seokmin, was the complete opposite, a social butterfly with plenty of energy to be out of the house most days. 

After college, Seokmin had an option to further his studies as a Drama and Theatre Arts Major, but the worry of being able to pay rent for their apartment was holding him down. Jihoon remembered the nights before graduation that Seokmin had his head nestled in the crook of his neck, wetting his T-shirt with tears, wracking his head on what they could do to – as dramatically sentenced by Seokmin, “to salvage this sinking ship steered by 2 jobless gay men”.

The thing was, Jihoon was offered a full-time job at a record label that he interned at, and at that point of time, he hadn’t revealed it to Seokmin yet. He wanted it to be a graduation gift, to ease all the hard work that they’ve done. Since Seokmin had to be a big baby, Jihoon revealed it right then and there, choosing Seokmin’s happiness over anything else.

During those times, Jihoon had made a promise, that they wouldn’t have to worry about money. He made Seokmin promise not to feel bad about not contributing because he knows how his boyfriend is. 

He made Seokmin promise, but what was he doing now, being the one that made him feel bad in the first place?

-

Jihoon had gone to take a hot shower after the attitude he had displayed in the kitchen. Feelings of guilt and uneasiness crawling into his head and squeezing his heart in uncomfortable ways it possibly can. He stood in the shower for a whole hour, washing away the tiredness and trying to clear his brain. 

After his shower, Jihoon felt sluggish. Hands too heavy to dry himself and put on his clothes, head too muddled to think clearly.

He had to talk to Seokmin.

Jihoon forced himself to grab whatever t-shirt and shorts for pyjamas, and quickly put them on, stumbling on his own two feet in his rush to get out of the room.

But when he went out, the apartment was pitch black. The lights were turned off, usually indicating that Seokmin had gone out. Why didn’t Seokmin tell him? Oh right, because he had been the greatest boyfriend ever to say such condescending words to him an hour ago.

An unsettling and ugly feeling made its way into his stomach, did he upset Seokmin enough for him to leave Jihoon?

Panic began to sit in as he ran back into the room, pulling his phone out of his jeans pocket behind the door. He dialled Seokmin. Once, twice, thrice, with no answer, only a ringing tone that ended up in voicemail.

Jihoon couldn’t think straight, he had to look for Seokmin. What had he done?

He grabbed a coat from the desk chair and ran out of the room, turning on the apartment lights as he went. Seokmin couldn’t have gone far in an hour, he could be downstairs for all he knows, he just had to check.

As Jihoon was grabbing the handle of the front door, he heard a familiar beep of the lock pad being unlocked. His heart filled with hope for Seokmin to be standing there, as he yanked the door open, pulling the culprit along with it. 

Tears started to blur his vision as Seokmin’s ever so familiar scream sounded like music to his ears. He had his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders, keeping him from falling, relief flooding his senses as he pulled Seokmin into a tight hug.

“Hey, hey, why are you crying?” Seokmin knelt a little bit to put down the bags he was holding and embraced Jihoon’s shaking figure.

Jihoon couldn’t speak, fingers gripping Seokmin’s jacket, too afraid to let go. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me. I didn’t mean it,” Jihoon chanted over and over again.

He felt fingers wrap around his upper arm, as Seokmin pulled away slowly to look Jihoon in the eyes. Jihoon was having none of it, he let his arms fall to his sides, eyes turned down to stare at his bare feet. How could he dare to? His words and actions were of those who did not think before saying or doing them. How did Seokmin feel? This was all Jihoon’s fault.

Seokmin lifted his head up with a finger under his chin, head tilted to get Jihoon to look at him. When he looked up, Seokmin had a small smile on his face. Both his hands moved to cup Jihoon’s face and his thumbs gently rubbing away the tears staining Jihoon’s cheeks.

Jihoon closed his eyes and let out quiet sobs as Seokmin leaned his forehead against his.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” 

He let go of Jihoon’s face and gently intertwined their fingers together. Seokmin used his free hand to grab the plastic bags off the ground, walking a few steps towards the kitchen and deposited the bags on the kitchen island top, hands still holding Jihoon’s. 

Seokmin tugged on his hands and pulled him towards the 2-seater couch, opting to sit down first as Jihoon plopped himself beside him. 

It was silent for a few minutes as Jihoon’s sobs turned into tiny sniffles that had Seokmin taking a tissue from the coffee table, dabbing it on Jihoon’s cheeks. “Why did you look so panicked, Hoon?”

“I thought you left me because of what I said. I was so scared.” Jihoon stared into Seokmin’s eyes, tears threatening to fall again. He really felt the guilt for what he had said. He didn’t ever want Seokmin to feel that way but because of his short temper, he had snapped and said words he didn’t mean.

“I just-,” Jihoon let out a shaky breath and willed himself to not start crying again.

“I was so scared that I’d lose you, especially when the reason was me. That I, who was supposed to make you happy, made you feel the opposite. I don’t want to lose you, Seokmin, I’m sorry.”

With a huge sigh, Seokmin spread his arms wide, moving forward to wrap his arms around Jihoon. He tucked Jihoon’s head under his chin, stroking Jihoon’s still damp hair.

“I won’t ever leave you over small things like that. I knew you were tired, I knew that you needed space. But I wouldn’t leave you.” Seokmin spoke in a hushed tone, lips pressed to Jihoon’s temple.

Jihoon tilted his head back to look up at Seokmin, his body still glued to Seokmin’s side. “We promised we’d go through this together, I know both of us have different struggles because of our different paths, and I’m sorry for bringing it up. I didn’t mean it.” 

Seokmin nodded, “I understand, and as long as we can make it, I want it to be you,” he booped Jihoon’s nose with a finger, “and me on this journey to making it work.”

He nuzzled Jihoon’s cheek with his nose, kissing his right cheek and then his left. 

Seeing Seokmin’s smile made him feel butterflies in his stomach all over again, a smile that never fails to brighten Jihoon’s day. He could fall in love again and again with that smile. He could never find someone who supported him like Seokmin did. What did he do in his past life to deserve someone like him?

He wouldn’t normally be the one to initiate this, but he leaned up to press a chaste kiss on Seokmin’s lips, hand steadying himself on Seokmin’s shoulder.

Seokmin had a very surprised look on his face before a sly grin made its way onto his lips, “Wanna make hot chocolate and watch Netflix in bed?” 

Jihoon interrupted the idea with a thought that popped up in his head, “Wait, but where’d you go earlier? Why’d you leave the house?”

“I just wanted to give you some space, plus, I had to get some groceries for our breakfast tomorrow from the grocery store downstairs. Where’d you think I went?” Seokmin laughed heartily and poked Jihoon’s side. “I told you I won’t ever leave you, silly.”

Jihoon sighed in relief, getting up and pulled on Seokmin’s hand, “Come on, you said you wanted to Netflix and Chill!”

“I did not say that!”

-

Since Jihoon was all showered, all he had to do was set up his laptop on the bed and bring the 2 cups of steaming hot chocolate into the room. 

As Jihoon was steadily putting the drinks down on the bedside table, Seokmin came out of the bathroom, fresh and clean. 

Jihoon turned on his bedside table lamp and walked over to the room’s light switch to turn it off. 

When both of them settled down into the pile of blankets with the laptop on their laps, Jihoon turned to his side to face Seokmin. Seokmin felt the stare, and turned to smile at Jihoon, his body moving closer to him for warmth.

They looked into each other’s eyes, smiles on their face, and Jihoon whispers, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you reached till here, THANK YOU!!
> 
> This is the first fic I've ever done on here :') cries in pain and struggles.


End file.
